Secrets and Lies
by somewhereinthedreams
Summary: Two secrets and one lie get exposed after a night of drinking. Set somewhere after Season 3: Episode 8, Savior Complex.


**A/N: In true Graceland fashion, each episode is an emotional roller coaster and every week I'm more worried about one character more than the other. Soooooo here's a slight break from canon. This is set somewhere after 3x08 and I glossed over the end of the Sarkissian case cause it doesn't really matter for the sake of this fic. Let me know what you think :)**

* * *

"Can you keep a secret?" Paige loudly whispered, as she leaned closer to Mike.

Too much alcohol coupled with her impossibly high heels caused Paige to stumble into him as he helped her upstairs. Despite being a little buzzed, Mike automatically reached out to steady Paige and his senses were immediately overwhelmed by her.

Her infectious perfume reminded him of all the nights they spent wrapped up in each other.

Silky smooth skin that he spent countless hours exploring with his hands and mouth.

Kissable lips that had the power to make him forget everything but _her_.

Paige stopped suddenly, leaning against the wall of the stair landing and for a moment he thought she was dizzy, but once he noticed that she was watching him, he realized that wasn't the case. Paige's face was slightly flushed, her green eyes sparkled with mischief as her lips curved into smile, knowing exactly what kind of effect she was having on him.

It had months since Mike had seen Paige so carefree. Happy. Free from the guilt that had weighed her down for months. Guilt about him. Colby.

Sid was dead. Ari and Toros were behind bars.

He was free from his addiction. The Sarin gas was in the hands of Homeland Security and they were dealing with it. Normally, he might've bitched about jurisdiction and fought his way to stay on the case. But he felt satisfied with a win. There would be other cases.

Tonight they had all headed out to celebrate the end of the Sarkissian case. Paige matched Johnny shot for shot, until Johnny passed out. Briggs was responsible for helping Johnny upstairs and helping Paige deal with all the stairs had fallen to him.

Not that he minded. It was the perfect excuse to be close to her.

He and Paige had slowly been growing closer again. Rebuilding their friendship. Rebuilding the trust they thought was broken. But they were still uncertain how to act around each other. Not sure if they were exes that happened to live and work together or if they were exes on the path to starting up again. He wasn't sure and it seemed that both of them were afraid to have that conversation, because it would draw more attention to the blurred lines they were both trying so hard not to cross.

It was impossible for him to feel _nothing_ for her. He was trying and was failing miserably. Especially with Paige pressed up against him and her lips brushing over his ear, reminding him how her lips felt against his skin. What his name sounded like as it fell from her lips again and again as he moved over her.

He could keep a secret. She knew that. He was keeping hers and he would continue keeping it, never holding it against her, with the exception of the night of his failed intervention. The secret of her betrayal was locked away, buried so deep it felt like a distant memory. An echo.

Mike turned to look at her, his heart stopping once he realized how close his face was to hers. If he tilted his head just a little, their foreheads would be touching. Instead, Mike reached over and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, and kept his hand on her face. "Yes."

"I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you," Paige confessed, resting her hand over his.

" _And that we love you."_

Most of that night was a blur. All he remembered was being strung out and feeling attacked, so he lashed out, saying the most hurtful things he could think of in order to get everyone to back off.

But he remembered what Paige said.

It was the closest she had ever come to saying the words that had been on the tip of his tongue since the first time they kissed. But he had always known that saying those three words would've sent her running. Not that it mattered, he did that all on his own without telling her he loved her.

"Paige..."

"Shh," Paige whispered, tracing her fingers over his lips. "You always say I never want to talk, I'm talking."

Mike closed his eyes, relaxing as her fingers traveled from his lips along his face, each touch making him question every decision he had made over the past year. He didn't want to point out that she wasn't talking at the moment, but the last thing he wanted her to do was stop touching him.

"Don't think," Paige murmured against his lips.

His eyes opened, Paige was close enough to kiss, but he had to leave that decision to her. She was giving him a chance to pull away, but he wasn't going to take it. "I thought you were talking." Mike rested his hands on her hips, pulling her closer.

"Talking's overrated."

Paige kissed him slowly. Sweetly. But within seconds he was backing her up against the wall, pressing his body into hers, knowing that this one kiss would never be enough. But also knowing that things couldn't go further than this tonight.

They were both drunk. Not so drunk that they weren't aware of what they was doing, but their inhibitions were definitely lowered. Right now she was able to tell him all the things she couldn't tell him when they were sober. But she might feel differently in the morning. And he couldn't risk it. Couldn't risk that in the morning she would look back at tonight, at _him_ like a mistake.

Whoever said it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all had never fallen in love with Paige Arkin. Because he fell in love with her and lost her, she sent someone to kill him and he still wasn't over her. He wasn't sure he'd ever be over her. Wasn't sure he wanted to live in a world where he didn't love her. Wasn't sure they would ever figure things out. Instead of having a relationship, he was collecting moments like this and piecing them together so he would have a lifetime of memories. Because even if they never figured things out, he _needed_ her in his life. Even if it meant the last time they kissed they were standing here on this staircase.

His breathing ragged, Mike rested his forehead against hers as Paige looked at him. "Can you keep a secret?" Mike asked, repeating her earlier question.

Paige nodded, trying to look at him with a serious look in her eyes, but she was seemingly fascinated by his lips because she couldn't stop touching them. "I'll always keep your secrets."

"I'm not supposed to be in love with you."

Paige froze and her eyes widened slightly as she took in his words.

Three times he tried telling her that he loved her, and three times his words were met with silence. But that was okay. She hadn't run away from him. It remained to be seen if she would hand him back his heart.

"Mike..."

Mike shook his head as he reached for her hand and kissed the back of her hand. "You don't have to say anything."

He heard the bathroom door open upstairs and he moved his hand to her back, gently nudging her towards the stairs. He was surprised no one had wandered downstairs for a late night snack. It seemed like they had been on the stairs forever and as much as he wanted to stay in this moment, he welcomed the interruption. Mike slipped his arm around Paige and she leaned into him, and they both remained silent as they slowly made their way up the stairs. Mike gave a slight nod to Jakes as he slipped past them on the stairs.

Mike walked Paige into her room, watching her as she collapsed onto her bed, her feet hanging off the edge. Mike moved forward, helping her until her feet were resting on the mattress.

Paige swatted at her ankles a few times, before fumbling with the straps on her shoes. "Help," Paige called out, her voice muffled by her pillow.

Mike laughed softly at her predicament and wordlessly undid the straps on her shoes. He carefully slipped off both shoes and set them near her dresser so she wouldn't trip on them in the middle of the night. He slowly approached Paige, tenderly stroking her face, smiling as she sighed. "Night."

Paige reached out to grab his hand, "Don't go."

"Paige, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Just stay with me a little while."

His bed was just on the other side of the wall, but suddenly it felt a million miles away with Paige asking him to stay in hers.

He glanced behind him at the open door, not really caring if anyone saw them. He feared that if he went to close it, he would start second guessing his decision to stay and be in his room before he realized what happened. Mike kicked off his shoes before climbing into bed next to her.

He tried not to think about what happened the last time they shared her bed. That seemed like forever ago.

Unsure where to _be_ , Mike stayed on his side of the bed, not wanting to invade Paige's personal space despite desperately wanting to pull her into his arms. Paige inched closer to him, using his chest as her personal pillow. Mike relaxed at the familiarity of it all, automatically reaching down to run his fingers through her hair.

He was starting to think he was cursed. Paige always seemed to be at arm's length or if she was within reach, it was just for a few seconds. Or in this case, a few hours. Morning would come soon enough, but until then, Paige was in his arms.

"Night, Mike," Paige whispered.

Paige stubbornly kept her eyes open, watching the rise and fall of his chest and once she was certain his breathing evened out, she quietly said his name. Mike shifted slightly in his sleep, but didn't answer her. Paige waited a few more minutes before carefully untangling herself from his embrace.

Paige propped herself up on her elbow, watching him peacefully sleep. The last time she had been this close to him when he was asleep was when he was detoxing, and she was reading to him. To distract him, Keep herself occupied. Let him know she was there. But, this was different.

Tonight was different.

They were different.

They had been to hell and back. But she was finally starting to think they could start over. It wouldn't be the same. They would never be the same, but that was okay. What they had before didn't last. Their _thing_ had been too fragile to survive any sort of outside pressure. But they were stronger now. They knew what they had to lose and this time she wasn't going to let pride or stubbornness get in the way.

The job came first. For both of them. They could both live with that. But what they couldn't live with letting secrets and lies drive them apart.

"Mike?"

He didn't respond to his name and once she was certain he was in a deep slumber. Paige leaned forward, so her lips were near his ear, "I'm not drunk," Paige softly whispered.

Mike told her once she was brave. That was a lie. She wasn't brave. She was a coward.

The past few months they had been growing closer and she was afraid to test the waters between them. Afraid she wouldn't be able to handle it if he rejected her.

So she pretended to be drunk in order to see if what she thought was happening between them was all in her head.

If she was imagining how his eyes followed her around the room. Imagining the electricity she felt whenever she accidentally brushed up against him. Imagining how he would linger in her room if he had a question about a case. She was certain she had been imagining him being jealous every time she talked to a guy if they were out together, because she was jealous every time an attractive woman approached him.

But she wasn't imagining things.

He loved her. He admitted that he loved her. Sure, he thought she was drunk and it offered them both the perfect out.

Them loving each other could be written off as a drunken confession and they wouldn't have to deal with the consequences. Tomorrow they could fall back into their newfound friendship and not have to deal with any of their garbage. It would be another one of their secrets.

Their secrets were piling up between them.

" _I'm the only one who knows how reckless you got. And we're gonna keep it that way."_

" _Really?"_

" _In a place like Graceland, sometimes it's good to keep secrets."_

" _Thank you."_

The world made sense when they were keeping each other's secrets.

But she didn't want them loving each other to be a secret. It took almost losing him, twice, for her to realize that she was finally ready to stop being afraid of what loving Mike meant. Because she spent so much time trying not to love him and it almost cost them everything.

"Mike?" Paige gently shook him awake.

He sleepily murmured her name and pulled her closer, "Go back to sleep." Mike kissed the top of her head and started rubbing her back, trying to lull her to sleep.

As tired as she was and as comfortable as she felt curled up next to him, they needed to talk about this now. "Mike," Paige sharply said.

He slowly opened his eyes, "What's wrong?" Mike asked.

"Nothing," Paige whispered, her eyes filling with tears. "I just - I - I'm not drunk. I wasn't drunk earlier when we were walking upstairs." A normal person would be drunk, but she had a high tolerance. Sure, she had been buzzed and maybe a little drunk, but not so drunk that she couldn't walk upstairs by herself.

Mike watched her intensely, but remained silent as he continued rubbing her back.

"I - I just needed you to know that tonight," Paige shakily said, starting to second guess her confession. Just because Mike said he wasn't supposed to be in love with her didn't mean he wanted to be in love with her. Maybe he wanted what they said tonight to be a drunk confession. Maybe he felt sorry for her.

Mike slid his hand up to the back of her neck and pulled her closer for a kiss. Paige relaxed against him, each second she was in his arms quieting all the doubts she was having. Her hands wandered along his chest as she shifted closer to him.

His kiss was maddenly slow, as if he had all the time in the world to kiss her. It wasn't hurried or rushed. It wasn't desperate like the the kiss they shared earlier on the stairs, a stolen moment in the midst of their uncertainty of how to act around each other.

"Now what?" Paige breathed against his lips.

"Sleep, okay?" Mike asked, tenderly stroking her face. "We can figure everything out tomorrow."

They had a million and one things they had to talk about, but right now she was content to just be, just knowing they had a tomorrow.

THE END


End file.
